Top Ten Cool Things About Winning A Gold Medal.
10. Makes you most impressive person at any party, unless Marion Jones shows up.

9. When customs asks you if you have anything to declare, you can say, "Nothing--well if you don't count this genuine Olympic gold medal".

8. According to law, I'm automatically the next Governor of Minnesota.

7. You can get, like, 100 bucks for it on eBay.

6. In my case, it means you kicked some serious Russian butt.

5. The instant marriage proposal from Darva Conger.

4. Makes know-it-all brother-in-law's "Most Improved Bowler" trophy look pathetic.

3. Fun walking past guys with bronze medals and muttering, "Loser".

2. Finally I have an excuse for why I've been rolling around on the floor with guys for the past 20 years.

1. No tie? No problem.
